Put two fingers inside your vagina and look at where your clit falls in relation to those, she says. “This will give you a gauge of the distance you need between the two extensions.” Vibrating prostate massagers “Many prostate massagers feature an attachment that hugs up against the perineum (the spot between the anus and the balls),” Finn says. This helps stimulate the prostate from the inside and the outside. Her recommendations: We-Vibe Vector Lelo Hugo Nonvibrating wands Wand vibrators may be great, but don’t sleep on nonmotorized wands.
Generally made out of stainless steel or glass, wands can be used internally to apply pleasurable pressure to the G-spot and A-spot. And even the P-spot — so long as it has a flared base or nonpliable curve. “Stainless steel and glass can also hold temperature, which means you can warm them up or make them cold to experience different temperatures and sensations,” Finn says. For high-quality, stainless steel wands, check out anything from nJoy or Le Wand’s Stainless Steel Collection. For something less pricey, opt for a glass wand, like the Unbound Gem. Miscellaneous pleasure products for vulva owners Not all pleasure products fall under neat and tidy categories. But that doesn’t mean they won’t make you moan… Clit suction toys If you’re a vulva owner who loves the sensation of receiving head or wants to explore the sensation of receiving oral, you need to know about clit suction toys. “Rather than using vibration, clit suction toys use air and sucking technology to stimulate the clit,” Wolfe says. “They can work really well for folks who don’t like vibration, and they’re responsible for a lot of vulva owners’ first-ever orgasm.”
If you don’t have a clitoris but L-O-V-E nipple stimulation, you might also enjoy clit suction toys. When used with lube, it feels like a mouth. There are a ton of different clit suction toys on the market: If you enjoy the sensation of your clit being licked: Womanizer Premium If you’re looking for one that fits well between two bodies: We-Vibe Melt If you’re looking for one that also vibrates: The Chickie Emojibator If you enjoy really intense sucking on your clit: Lelo Sona Cruise Thrusters Sure, dildos can be used to thrust in and out of the body at speed… but not super easily. Hello, shoulder and bicep burn! “It’s legitimately hard for most people to put their arm between their legs and move their hand up and down really quickly,” Corrado says. Enter: thrusters. “Thrusters allow you to position the toy in one place and leave it while it does all the thrusting for you,” Corrado explains. “They also allow folks who can’t move their arms with consistent motion, or at all, to get that thrusting sensation.” Love accessible pleasure products!
Some thrusters, like the CalExotics Shameless Tease, feature an attachment that provides stimulation to the clitoris, like a rabbit vibrator does. Others, like the Zalo Desire preheating thruster, are shaped like standard dildos. Important note: Most thrusters don’t have a flared base, which means they shouldn’t be used anally. “Because they’re thrusting of their own accord, it could be really dangerous to use a thruster anally if it doesn’t have a flange,” Corrado notes. Ben Wa balls Jade eggs. Vaginal weights. Kegel aids. Ben Wa balls come in many shapes and forms, but they all do the same thing: go into your vagina and force your pelvic floor muscles to #dowerk.
Sex MasksOriginally, they were designed to help vulva owners strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. But nowadays, they’re used as sex toys — especially in kink and BDSM scenes as a form of domination play. Finn explains: “The Dominant partner might have the submissive partner hold the balls inside their vagina as an endurance exercise.” (Is that iconic scene in “Fifty Shades of Grey” coming to mind?). For folks who are new to Ben Wa ball use, Finn recommends silicone balls, like the CalExotics Kegel-Training Strawberry Set or Satisfyer V Balls. More advanced users might try weighted Ben Wa balls, like Lelo Luna Beads or We-Vibe Bloom vibrating Kegel balls. Miscellaneous pleasure products for penis owners If you think sex toys for penis owners start and end with masturbation sleeves, be prepared to be proven wrong. Pulsator Rather than using vibration or thrusting, pulsators use oscillating technology to get you off.
The most popular toy on the pulsator market is the Hot Octopuss Pulse. Dubbed the first “Guybrator,” this toy wraps around the penis and jacks it off using oscillation (or more specifically, something called “PulsePlate Technology”). There’s also the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo, which can be used with a partner with a vulva for a hot shared experience. Automatic masturbators Whether you can’t physically use your hands to jack off or simply don’t want to, automatic masturbators are a good bet — they do all the work for you. Here’s how it works: You lube up the toy, your penis, or both, and put your peen inside the toy, then turn it on so it can get busy. Intrigued? Check out Own Pleasures 10 Dual Motor Automatic Male Masturbator. Masturbation sleeves “Masturbation sleeves are things that go over the penis that you can either thrust into, or move up and down with the help of your hand,” Corrado explains.
Likely, the Fleshlight comes to mind. But that’s just one of the many masturbation sleeves available for purchase. Other popular masturbation sleeves include: Tenga Egg Tenga Zero Flip Hole Luxury Male Masturbator The ROCCO JackDaddy Stroker Cock ring Typically made of silicone, nitrile, or stainless steel, cock rings are designed to go over the base of the penis to keep the blood flow from moving back in the body. The result? Stronger erections, and sometimes delayed ejaculation. Stretchy, adjustable, and stainless cock rings are often designed to go under the scrotum, too. Vibrating cock rings go at the base of the penis. “The benefit of most vibrating cock rings is that they can be positioned to apply stimulation to the scrotum or to provide clitoral stimulation to a vulva owner during partnered sex,” Corrado says.
Female Chastity BeltShe recommends the We-Vibe Verge or the Lelo Tor Ohnut Technically speaking, the Ohnut isn’t a sex toy so much as it’s a sex aid. However, it’s a product all people with penises who sleep with vulva owners should know about. This product slips over the base of the penis to limit how much of the penis is able to go inside the vagina during P-in-V intercourse. The point? To make penetrative intercourse more pleasurable for vulva owners who might otherwise find it painful. Butt toys Finally! The part of the guide where we talk about butt stuff! “Why anal toys can be pleasurable is pretty simple,” Wolfe says. “No matter what your genitals are, your anus is loaded with nerve endings.” Butt plug “Butt plugs can create a pleasurable sensation of being stretched or of being full,” Wolfe says. “And for vulva owners, because the anal canal and vaginal canal are right next door, they can also be worn in the anus to make the vaginal cavity tighter,” they add. Beyond just being pleasurable for a partner with a penis during P-in-V, a tight vaginal canal can increase the feeling of fullness for the vulva owner.
According to Wolfe, this can increase the chance that the G-spot gets touched during penetration. Choose your next butt plug based on your experience level with anal: Beginner: b-Vibe Snug Plug 1 Intermediate: nJoy Pure Plug Advanced: b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 or b-Vibe Bump Textured Plug Anal beads “While butt plugs are about creating a sustained sensation, anal beads are generally about one moment and movement,” Wolfe says. “They’re designed to massage the sphincter when they go in and create a pleasure pop when they’re pulled out,” they add. Intrigued? Check out b-Vibe’s Cinco anal beads, which have a vibrating option. Prostate massagers We’ve already touched on vibrating prostate massagers, but — spoiler alert — not all prostate massagers vibrate. Some are basically just butt plugs with a special shape (aka increased curve) to support prostate stimulation.
“Prostates respond well to firm, methodical pressure,” Finn says. “Often the base of the prostate massager will have a handle so that you can rock the toy back and forth against the prostate to create that pressure.” For intense, vibration-free prostate stimulation, check out the Aneros MGX prostate stimulator. Toys for the kink-curious “Most beginner kink toys are all about eroticizing erogenous zones that often get ignored, or creating surprising sensations,” Wolfe says. Here’s where to start. Blindfold It’s simple: By taking away one sense (your sight!), your other senses become much more heightened. “Touch becomes that much more electric when you can’t see what’s coming,” Finn says. Make your own blindfold out of a bandana or tie. Or, check out this Sex & Mischief satin blindfold. Feather teaser “Feather teasers can be used to provide a really gentle touch along the body,” Finn says. “They’re especially great after impact play on the now-much-more-sensitive area.”